Okay... Here it goes. David (godscountryboy.blogspot.com) posted the Real You challenge recently. I have struggled just with starting this post because I am the type of person who is constantly stuffing what they really feel, and put a nice smiley mask on. I will try to be as honest as I can....
Some of my biggest fears:
I am very concerned with what other people think of me. I am always afraid that they will find out who I really am and could never like me if they knew.
One of the biggest ones for me is..... That I will never meet a man who will love me enough to want to spend the rest of his life with me, or, if there is one, that I will not like something that he does/likes, and could not see myself spending the rest of my life with him. Recently, I have come to realize the enormous commitment that marriage involves, and I cannot see myself loving anyone yet like Love is needed in a marriage. However, I also desperately want to get married.... (For the girls who understand this fear, pleeeeaaaase pray for me)
I doubt the love of God and am constantly afraid that He will give up on me (even though I know the scriptures about this).
I distrust the love of my family and, overall, distrust the commitment of all my friends. (This is my problem, not yours, by the way, for any friends of mine who read this....)
And..... One of my worst character traits is irritation/anger. I hate it, have prayed about it, and am not sure what to do.....another area for prayer.
Okay, I think those are my biggest baddest problems/fears.....besides the millions of "little" ones that I also struggle with. All I can say is .... Please pray for and continue loving me.....
You know what? We are so similar! Praying for you! : )
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! Will pray for you too!!!!
ReplyDeleteHey Anna, Good stuff. I was glad to see that you put one up. I hope it helps you as much as mine helped me. :)
ReplyDeleteAnna, This is so precious! Your open heart before us and the Lord helps us grow too! Thank you for sharing yourself....it takes a life time to learn to walk in the Spirit, not the flesh.......the most wonderful thing is that God's grace goes before us and behind us......always working all things for our good. When we choose to walk in the flesh, Jesus is there, allowing us to come to him, confess, and be cleansed of all unrighteousness....again, and again....It blows my mind...I cannot always wrap my thoughts around it but I know it is real. Who we are in Christ is the real us! We have been created new creatures in Christ Jesus , yet until we get to heaven, we have the flesh, and the choice to step back into the old us from time to time. The great thing is that there is forgiveness waiting. Not a free ticket so to speak but a God that knows we cannot walk in the Spirit without Him doing it through us, no one ever could. We get to rest in that, and that Jesus will be faithful to complete the work in us that He began. We have an awesome God.......who knows exactly what we need. Just love that! You keep seeking Him, keep that sensitive heart, He is guiding you.......know that you will make mistakes and even sin, but He will be with you......The enemy would want all of us to give up when we fall short but God wants us to rest in His forgiveness, allow Him to change our heart and grow us for His glory. Amazing Love! Praying with you and for you! Love, Mrs. G.
ReplyDeleteHi Anna :)
ReplyDeleteI wanted to tell you that I am praying for you... I do understand your 2nd fear very much... Recently having been hurt very deeply, I can relate to the fear. My dad says that we cannot close up our hearts for fear of pain...or more pain..but must make them open and vulnerable. It helps us to grow and causes us to be more like Christ. I was thinking about how our Lord loved His disciples (well hey! He loves us too) and thinking about how many times that love was "thrown back in His face" by their actions... Peter's denial, Thomas' unbelief, the times we ourselves sin against Him... & He forgives us our trespasses & loves us in spite of our failings. As to not feeling that you could love a man like you ought for marriage... I am 22 and until this year I never thought I could either :) As I said... I discovered this and was then deeply pained...I can choose to close up and never allow that kind of hurt to happen again, or choose to forgive and enlarge my heart toward all His children even with the risk of hurt.. As Paul was, so we should be very willing to spend and be spent for God's people...though the more we love them the less we be loved (2 Cor 12:15) I heard a sermon yesterday on love...here is a link if you'd like to here it :) It is on Romans 12:9,10: http://www.letgodbetrue.com/media/audio/sermons/2013-06-30/2013-06-30-am-sermon.mp3
Anyway, just wanted you to know I was praying :) May the LORD help you, and me, to conform more and more to His image and likeness!